Sunday, December 21, 2008

rant! rattle and roll!

I have no concept of time. I don't even notice how long or short a minute really is anymore. You're lazy because you don't want to work. That's what I've always been told, but I really do want to just experience life. I don't like occasionally looking outside the windows at work and watch the progression through the day. I want to be a part of it.
I want to disassociate myself with a lot of people. Honestly people that I wouldn't mind if I never saw them again. That's sort of sad to me, though.
The only person that I care about their opinion at this time is Aaron. I don't even want to get into writing about him. He's seriously my dream boy. He gives me a warm feeling when I think about him or look at a picture of him.
I know I let him down sometimes, but never intentionally. I just don't see it, but that's my fault. I should put myself in "other people's shoes."
I guess it's just overwhelming all the people that are visiting too. It seems even more scheduled. I just want to hide and do some things for me. The things I've been meaning to do lately. This is my winter break, but it doesn't feel like it.
haha look at how many "I"'s there are. I want to focus on me sometimes. If I won't, who will?
Joel told me to "curl up, fuck off and die" tonight on the way home. You know how you avoid those that you care about
Publish Post
telling you that. Avoid everyone. He was drunk, but it still hurt.
I'm so done ranting.

Saturday, December 6, 2008

gotta go gotta go gotta go right now

I haven't written in here in almost a month. I've been on the go all the time, though. School and work are killer. The good news is that school will soon be over for the semester(which reminds me to sign up for classes tonight at midnight?)

Lee and I are really kick starting this zine. I don't think anyone knows how important this is to me. I'm finally starting my zine after the third(different people involved each time)try.

It disappoints me to think this, but I often question other people's passion for anything when they don't really act on it. You can't say you are something when you make no attempts in it. I understand people have big hearts and they want to do things for animals and humanity, but how are we going to get anywhere if we always put ourselves before anyone else?
It's not the thought that counts in this situation!
If there is something that you're passionate about it read about it, learn it, live it, breathe it, create it! Take action! If you commit to something, stick to it.