I often reminisce about the past as if those were times to glorify. They weren't. Nostalgia and the question of what could have been have always been prominent in my mind. Not anymore. I feel as though this mindset has held me back. I became aware of this while reading my old entries. I made so many goals that I never accomplished, I saw life in a different light, I was naive to most things, I wasn't as genuine and pure as I could have been, and I loved the wrong way.
I want to free myself of all of this as it has been a heavy burden on me. I want to start anew. The hardest part of all of this is that I have to start over in the same physical location I've always been. I have to remind myself that this is all temporary and as long as I keep focused on where I truly want to go and what I want to accomplish, there's no place I can go except forward.
Something I've recently come to the realization of is I should never ponder on what could have been between someone I admired romantically and me. It never happened for one reason or another, but for a just reason nonetheless. I don't wish to go back to a past love again. I feel that it will be no more of a surprise than a rerun of a sitcom. I wish to learn from these mistakes and love better in the future.
"Oh I do believe
You are what you perceive
What comes is better than what came before"
-"I Found A Reason" by Velvet Underground
Maybe I'll see you in a day or two or maybe another year or two again.
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2 comments:
Ok, who is this mystery crush of yours? I HAVE TO KNOW!!
Oh no, it wasn't so much a mystery as much as it didn't come into fruition after multiple attempts and now in retrospect, it must have been for a reason. After coming to this conclusion, I thought about it and I realized that it has been a constant trait of mine to hold onto past crushes, lovers, and significant others in hopes that something will arise again some time in the future.
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